Recently I've been mulling around the idea of downsizing to an apartment because I need to cut costs since the divorce, and I want to start putting money back in savings. Since I'm living in the house we bought a few years ago there are a lot of memories here. Considering we were married for 22 years only a small percentage of our time together was in this house. There are a lot of good and bad memories in the house and in my mind; ghosts of Christmas past and future haunt these halls.
A year has passed since she left, but we are still in communication because we're sharing custody of our children, one of which recently went to college. I think that's another Blog post in itself. As I said, I have the house and it seems so very quiet and lonely when the kids are at her apartment. I keep the temperature (its winter now) down around 60 because only my dog and I are here. I keep a heater in the front office during the day and in the bedroom when I sleep at night. When the kids aren't here the house is quiet, cold, and empty for two weeks at a time.
When my kids are here it's full of activity, heat, and conversation. I love those times more than just about anything...even though there is the added stress of picking up, delivering, feeding, washing, coordinating, and all of the usual family stuff. I wouldn't give it up for the world. Fortunately they are all teenagers, and two of the three drive their own cars which is a whole other set of responsibilities. At those times I'm glad I have this house. Its large with a back yard, garage, and game room. The only heavy weight is cost.
Which brings me back to why I'm considering a move. The mortgage of this house is only a small part of the cost. There is also maintenance cost of mowing the lawn, cleaning the interior, and fixing the exterior. It seems to never end, especially during the summer and fall months. Fortunately the house is large enough to hold all of my stuff and some of my ex-wife's stuff (more on that later) that it would be difficult for me to downsize. For two weeks at a time I mull over the idea of going smaller, but when the house is full I forget all about it.
Last week I started looking for an apartment. My needs were few; 2 bedrooms with washer/dryer hookups, an attached garage (for my EV), in a safe neighborhood of the school district. I found only one that met those requirements. So, I scheduled a look-see on a Thursday. The unit I was viewing had been rented out, but I was allowed to go in to measure some of the floor space while the cleaners were finishing up.
One pleasant thing I noticed was the garage was HUGE! I mean, for a one-car garage it was huge and had everything my little EV could want. A concrete floor, four walls and a ceiling, and an electric outlet. After I walked upstairs...which I would be doing every day I lived there...I noticed the interior looked much bigger on paper.
After a few minutes of walking from one side of the two-bedroom apartment to the other I began to understand the value of my home. First, the rent of this apartment was about just over two-hundred less per month than my mortgage. The apartment was all electric, and water costs were fixed. Unfortunately it was half the size of my house with some obvious wear and tear on the interior. The windows looked like they leaked air or water, and the space was horrible for the cost. My EV would be happy, but no one else would be. I nixed the deal that day by letting the manager know, "I'll think about it".
I know there are probably some really nice apartments out there, but not for me right now. I'm not forced to move (yet) and get to try other avenues to reduce costs such as refinancing or cutting back on services. In the meantime I'm going to try to make this house feel like a home. What does that entail? How am I going to feel comfortable in my own digs in the aftermath of that-which-shall-not-be-named?
Well... I have a plan that includes paint, a garage sale, and some new furniture and wall-decor. I'm also going to keep the shop in the garage (oh, that's another blog post!) as-is, warts and all. But, most of all I'm going to work on myself and how I interpret my new world. I think that's the best home of all. One in which I'm comfortable in my own skin.
Now, to post this and kick off my shoes, hop on the couch, and avoid the TV news.
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